Writers' Circle, Session 1

Where: Because East, West went North
And Marquis' Cafe planned to sleep early,
We finally settled at Bo's (good old Bo's) near Capitol

When: Wednesday, June 16, 2004, 10 P.M. till midnight

Theme: Unrequited Love

My piece:

************

Letter One

Dear Mr. Apartment 3B,

Hello there.

As your nearest neighbor, I’d like to welcome you to our humble abode. It may never pass for the great grand palace of the northern front (or any front for that matter) but what it lacks in beauty and structure, it makes up for history and character. And for us fortunate to live here, that's enough to call it home.

I heard you were moving in today and I hope that the place is much to your liking. And to be blunt, I do hope that you’re way, way more suitable than apartment 3B’s previous owners were.

Ugh, they were just terrible—newlyweds, if you care to ask. A couple who just couldn’t keep it down. Not that I don’t understand their need to celebrate -- they just got married, duh. Or so I tell myself every time the shrieks get too much to bear. But then, did they have to do it every hour and rub it in to those who aren’t getting any? Oh well.

Anyway, I digress. I bet anyone’s better after those two anyway so I’d like to extend my warmest welcome and hope we get along. After all, it helps if you like the person to whom you intend to borrow sugar or milk from time to time. Don’t worry, you can borrow some of mine too.

Hope to see you soon,

Ms. Apartment 3A


Letter Two


Dear Mr. Hunk from Apartment 3B,

As I write, my tongue is still hanging out. I can’t seem to get it back. Not after I had my first glimpse of you. Gawd, you’re gorgeous! They didn’t tell me you were gorgeous. Why the hell didn’t they tell me you were gorgeous?! Oh well.

Do you know that you have the eyes of a hawk and the walk of a tiger? So purely male -- just how I like them. None of the salon-made nails or hair a lot of these metrosexual guys seem to sport these days, either. But I’ve got to say, hunk, that your delicious butt definitely wins the asset race. Simply yum yum!

Wait, what’s that I smell? Is that pasta? Don’t tell me you cook, too. That’s just simply too good to be true. I’ve got to see this.
…

So it’s true. I just took a peek from the small slit of the narrow wall that divides us and saw you with my own two pretty eyes cooking in your kitchen. Wow. I didn’t know men like you still exist these days.

I have one word for you, mister -- perfect. You simply are perfect.

And I do believe I’m falling in love.

Hope you notice me,

Ms. Apartment 3A

Letter Three

Dear Mr. Gorgeous from Apartment 3B,

No day could ever be as perfect as today. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the air smells great. Most importantly, you smiled at me today.

Encouraged—and yes, yes, dazzled by that smile -- I approached you and introduced myself. So we talked for awhile. It was the most stimulating 5 minutes of my life. And then, it was nice meeting me, you said. And that I had the most beautiful hair and eyes you’ve ever seen. Was that flirting, or what! You couldn’t have made me happier.

Of course I played it coy and cool. After all, it wouldn’t do to make you think I was so needy now, would it. Knowing you men, that will just scare you away.

But don’t worry, I plan to bring out the big guns tonight. You’ll never know what hit you when we meet again for the dinner that you’ve graciously invited me to.

I can’t wait,

The foxy lady from Apartment 3A

Letter Four

Dear Mr. Jerk from Apartment 3B,

How could you?!

I thought we had a date. How could you forget so easily? After I bathed myself and put on fragrant perfume, just for you, you carelessly overlook me for that—that tramp!

Couldn’t you see that she’s perfectly unsuitable for you? Didn’t you see how thickly she uses makeup--- no doubt trying to hide the hundreds of pimples and blackheads that scatter all over her square face! Or how about the way she dresses? She might as well have gone naked. Do you honestly want a girl like that?

So what if she has a pretty smile? I’d bet she’d bore you to death with it. Take it from me, she’s not right for you!

Pause. Breathe in… out. Stop reading for awhile as I count to ten. Stop reading! Breathe in… out…

Okay, okay. I understand how you might be vulnerable to a girl like that—short skirts, long legs, big boobs, and all. After all, you’re just a man. I guess it’s up to me to show you better, huh?

The fight isn’t over yet. Just you wait and see.

I forgive you,

Still the foxy lady from Apartment 3A

Letter Five

Dear Mr. Apartment 3B,

I hope by the time you read this, you have found it in your heart to forgive me—even just a little bit. Please, before you make up your mind about me, allow me to explain.

You’ve overruled my original defense—love. So I shall give you what’s left -- insanity.

For indeed, I may have gone being more than just a little unwell. How else can you explain loving someone at first sight? Or the fact that I’ve given someone, you to be exact, the power to determine how my day turns out – good or bad depending on whether you’re kind to me or not. And how could I have shed all sense, dignity and morality just because I so want to possess you?

Believe me, this hasn’t happened to me before. This does not happen to sane beings. Yet, it did to me now. Call me crazy, but if this is what love makes you, then so be it.

I admit I may have been, ahem, a bit vicious. Okay, okay -- very vicious. I only meant to push her really, she was sitting too close. But then she had to kiss you.

The next thing I knew, I became hot all over, the blood for war went singing through my veins. You were mine damn it. I saw you first. I kept thinking how lovely it would be to scratch her back and wring her pretty neck. Before I knew it, I landed on her back with a snarl.

The rest went hazy after that. I believe there was scratching, maybe even biting. But please believe me when I say, I never meant to draw blood. Well, er, maybe I did. But not that much anyway.

I’ve never seen you so furious. And boy, were you scary. I was confused at first because I thought you’d be proud of my fighting prowess, especially when I was fighting for you. But apparently not, I realize now, particularly when the victim was your wife.

Newlyweds. Again. Sigh.

Why is it that I am always hounded by them? They never do me any good.

Now I feel so stupid. I see how competing for your love may prove futile because you’ve already given your heart to another. I see now that you were kind to me, not because you liked me back, but because you are basically just that—kind.

And sweet… and gentle… and sexy… stop! What am I thinking? I can’t go back there again. Not yet anyway. Erase, erase, erase.

I am so sorry that I caused you and your wife some distress. Okay, a LOT of distress.

I don’t blame you for not wanting to see me. So to ease your pain a little, I am leaving for awhile. Well, I don’t really have that much choice after you had me evicted from my beloved apartment of 7 years now, do I? I just hope that with time and space, you’d learn to forgive me and smile at me again the next time we cross paths.

And believe me, we will cross paths.

For even though you cast me so easily aside just like this, my love is strong enough for both of us.

I understand that you don’t see or welcome that now because you’re clouded by the intoxicating romance of young love. But it will fade. They always do. I’ve seen this pattern time and again. Why do you think your predecessors in that apartment no longer live there? They had one big messy annulment that’s why.

And when your time comes for that, I’ll be there, waiting to comfort you in my arms. You’ll see her for the shrew that she is and realize that no woman could ever be as loyal as I and love you the way that I can. Yep, she may have won the battle but the war is far from over.

For now, I’ll leave you to your peace. A wise woman knows when to fight and when to retreat. But this I promise you, I shall return.

Oh, parting is such sweet sorrow.


Always yours,

The cat who’s no longer in Apartment 3A


P.S. I didn’t know the view from the roof could be so awesome. The stars make me think of you, sweet prince.


**********

Discussion Excerpts

Pre-Reading

B: What is it? A poem or a short story?

Me: Not a poem. But I don't know what the heck it is, either.
Just read.

MD: Four pages?! (groaaaannn)

Post-Reading:

B: When was each letter written? There sould have been times

***

K: For even though you cast me so easily aside just like this, my love is strong enough for both of us... I understand that you don’t see or welcome that now because you’re clouded by the intoxicating romance of young love. But it will fade. They always do.... And when your time comes for that, I’ll be there, waiting to comfort you in my arms. You’ll see her for the shrew that she is and realize that no woman could ever be as loyal as I and love you the way that I can. Yep, she may have won the battle but the war is far from over.

...Wow, this sounds so like me, yen. These lines couldn't have been more true... (in re: the frog prince saga)

Me: Bitaw noh? I guess, subconsciously, I might have written that with you in mind

***

MD: Crazy! This is simply crazy! Could any woman actually be as crazy to write this?

B: Yeah, just like a horror movie

Me: Of course, love's supposed to make you crazy... Turns us to stalkers... mohad...

MD: No, no, it's beyond being crazy in love... Case in point, she actually went to the roof just to stalk her lover? I say, this woman is crazy, period.

Me: (shrugs) It's not that crazy. It's normal for cats to live sometimes on the roof, right?

(Silence)

B: Wait, are you saying that this woman is actually a cat?

K: Really?

MD: A cat writing?

Me: Well, yeah... I used a cat character using a woman's voice.

(laughter, scanning of the pages)

B: Well, that explains a lot

MD: Thing is, it wasn't really established that the character was a cat.

B: Yeah, we thought it was just a woman describing herself as a cat..

Me: (eeeekkk, Strike one, soweee) Yep, the character is a CAT, guys. A female one. And don't even talk about bestiality, because that's totally beside the point.

Note: And, of course, because these guys are naturally perverted, the topic went from unrequited love to sex and just that. Well, at least the story made them laugh

*****

P.S. Emi, you asked "what session?" Well, here's a glimpse. Just coffee, chocolates, Marlboro Lights, and possibly vodka ice (if east, west is hosting) in the pot. Definitely no cokes and no MJs. Hehe.