When Love Dies

This landed in my inbox today from a beloved spammer:

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Sometimes, love dies. And there is no easy explanation for it.

Some of us see it coming. Some of us don't. But mostof us try not to see it at all. Because it is easierto pretend that all is well rather than admit thatyour dreams have been shattered and you are left onlywith the broken pieces of your heart.

It hurts to imagine the person we love with someone else. It hurts to no longer be the object of his affections. It hurts to no longer be the center of his universe. It hurts to no longer be wanted. It hurts to be discarded, replaced and dumped unceremoniously like an old rag that has outlived its usefulness.

It hurts to no longer be loved.

But it happens everyday to the best among us - to the beautiful, the kind, the talented, the smart, the successful, the multi-awarded. It happens to the perfect wife, sister, friend, and mother. It happensto the civic leader, the CEO, the cover girl.

Whether or not it's something we did or didn't do, sometimes, love just dies. And over-thinking would serve no purpose.

To be loved is a blessing. But to no longer be loved is not necessarily a tragedy.

We've been raised since childhood to believe that love must last forever. And perhaps it must. But isn't it possible to simply be happy for the love you have no matter if it doesn't last forever? Isn't it possible to simply savor the moment and become richer by it without wanting to possess it forever? Isn't it possible to love and let go, and love again?

Isn't it possible to love forever but to love different people over time?

It's all right to no longer be loved. It's all right to stop loving. It's all right to mourn for love's losses but to condemn yourself to a life of misery because your love did not last forever is foolhardy. If love must die, let it go peacefully into the night.

But don't keep score. Love is not a contest. It is not a competition to see who emerges the prettiest, the craftiest or toughest. Love is what it is - a gift. It cannot be forced on anyone. Neither can it be forced out of anyone. So let it be.

When love dies, hold on to the memories. But let go of the one you love.

- Author Unknown

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Personally, though, i believe what's more painful is finally realizing that somebody's love didn't die at all because there never was any that existed all along. You just loved somebody so much that you were so ready to believe and hold on to what was, after all, a lie -- an illusion.

And you just have to forgive yourself for loving so much because there is simply no other way than to love fully and completely despite what the other person can't give. And you just have to live with the fact that love does not really conquer all. And the pain somehow becomes a blessing because, this time, you know what's it like to suffer love and you'll learn to pray that you'll never have to betray or hurt someone else as much.

And for now, i think it's better to say: when love fails, do not hold on to the memories so you can let go of the one you love.