He Says, I Say

Here's what he usually says and what I really want to say:

He says: Can I call you?

I say: Why do you have to ask? It's either you do or you don't. What you can or can't do is beyond me. But know this, I don't answer calls from psychos. Now, if you think you're one...

He says: Do you like ice cream?

I say: Very much

He says: Do you like watching movies?

I say: Yeah, when I can. But I like plays better and great conversations even more.

He says: Do you like flowers?

I say: Duh! Who doesn't? Love yellow or peach roses especially. But I like chocolates more. Snickers and cadbury will do fine, thank you.

He says: Ah, uhm...

I say: Oh pulleezz, can you just cut through the crap and ask me out already? I'm dying to go out with you, too.

He says: What's your dream date?

I say: Ever heard of the harana? I'm a sucker for that. And long walks... and great talk and... but i like it better when my date uses a bit more imagination. So don't ask me.

He says: What if...

I say: What if what?

He says: Somebody invites you to go camping...

I say: You, you mean? Duh!

He says: Who'd you imagine that person to be?

I say: Please, please, don't ask me stupid questions like this

He says: I'd have taken you to this place and that but I'm totally broke

I say: When are you ever going to learn that where we go don't really matter to me as long as I'm with you? You make me feel good. That's enough for me. Why do you always assume that I'm an expensive girl? I hate that. I really hate that. I may take to comfort whenever I can, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the rough side of life. I went to UP, remember? Besides, I'm not that shallow.

He says: I'm afraid of you. You make me nervous. That's why it took me so long to talk to you...

I say: That's sad. And insulting. Especially when I was really looking forward to getting to know you, too. By assuming the worst, you just denied me that privilege. But you're not the first one to say that anyway. Look, am I really that scary? That's totally, totally depressing.

He says: I wanted to ... but I figured you wouldn't..

I say: Please don't assume my feelings or my thoughts for me. I hate that. If you'd care to ask, I'd gladly tell you where I stand. Who gave you the right to read my mind anyway?

He says: You have a great smile. I like you

I say: Thank you. That's so kilig. Now I can't stop smiling. But don't linger on compliments please. They make me nervous. Just write them, so I can take it with me and grin foolishly when I'm alone already.

He says: Do I have a chance?

I say: Be specific-- a chance at what? Spell it out for me so I won't get too assuming.

He says: Do you like me?

I say: Please define "like" as you mean it

He says: Like, as in, bf potential. Do I have a shot at being special to you?

I say: You're asking me that when we're not even officially dating yet? Bwahahaha. Talk about sigurista. But thank you anyway by going ahead and directly asking me that. It gives me a chance to say that yes, I do like you. And given time, you may be even more special.

But let me tell you this-- I'm terrible with commitments. I tend to suffocate when I'm tied. So don't be surprised when I run from you when you get too serious. Don't fall in love with me for even though I like you very much, I'm not ready for that yet. And now that you know and realize that I'm not worth the trouble, I'll perfectly understand if you want to step back. But please, before you go, give it to me straight. For if you leave me hanging, I'm bound to curse you till the end of time.