Mismatched Earrings

About three weeks ago, I was so bummed out I lost yet another earring in someone else’s car. So far, the third one this year and to think 2007 is far from over yet.

This is precisely why I don’t buy expensive jewelry at all. Nevertheless, every pair has a story behind them – there was the cheap mickey dangles I found at a sidestreet in Bangkok for only 20 baht; the pearls a guy friend patiently scouted around the mall to give me as a Christmas present; the silver heart earrings I always wore to charm first dates; and the stories go on... And it’s for these damned sentimental reasons I can’t seem to part with the half-pieces left.

To punish myself, I started wearing mismatched earrings this month. I figured the remaining half pieces should not be cast aside just because I couldn’t hold on to their pairs. Besides, they’re still too pretty anyway.

Maybe it’s habit or simply my twisted taste for the absurd, but today, as I put on another mismatched pair, I realized the earrings actually look charming… interesting… kewl on my ears.

And as I spent an extra minute or so in front of the mirror basking in the newfound "kewlness" of my mismatched earrings, I started thinking about relationships.

Why is it that in relationships and in life, people seem to be so unforgiving about mismatched pairs? Why does the girl have to be shorter than the guy? Why do we cringe at the sight of a white and black hand holding? Why do we always want to marry a person of the same race or religion?

All our lives we keep looking for that perfect match. Dating web sites have even cleverly developed specific profile categories to easily mix and match singles. Got the same religion, interests, age group, education, race…? Then you are a perfect match! Or so they say. Bring on the bells!

Sometimes I wonder though—by insisting on our perfect matches, have we become blinded to the interesting beauty of our mismatched pairs? Have we missed out on the fun of being with an unlikely single?

Why are we so quick to dump a guy just because he wears the wrong shoes, got the wrong degree, or burps after every happy meal? Do we just discount that good sense of humor then just because he failed all other criteria?

Sometimes I wonder if the pursuit of the "perfect match" is in fact the very reason why too many couples get bored with each other eventually.

Wearing mismatched earrings has made me realize there is a certain freedom and lightness in accepting the less-than-perfect. By expecting less, you enjoy more. You don’t worry too much about losing a piece.

And when you think of it, for as long as you don’t force your taste on anyone, no one really cares about your mismatched earrings or men.

Maybe this is just my crazy self talking. Maybe this is just me rationalizing my carelessness. Maybe someday, I too will look for that perfect match.

But right this moment, I don’t really care. For today I find that wearing mismatched earrings suits me just fine.

I'd Give My Life For You

What sweeter words are there than a man's "i love you"? This:

I'd Give My Life For You

you who I cradled in my arms, you
asking as little as you can
little snip of a little man
I know I'd give my life for you

you didn't ask me to be born, you
why should you learn of war or pain
to make sure you're not hurt again
I swear I'd give my life for you

I've tasted love beyond all fear
and you should know it's love that brought you here
and in one perfect night
when the stars burned like new
I knew what I must do

I'll give you a million things I'll never own
I'll give you a world to conquer when you're grown

you will be who you want to be, you
can choose whatever heaven grants
as long as you can have your chance
I swear I'll give my life for you

sometimes I wake up
reaching for him
I feel his shadow brush my head
but there's just moonlight on my bed

was he a ghost? was he a lie
that made my body laugh and cry?
then, by my side, the proof I see:
his little one, gods of the sun, bring him to me!

you will be who you want to be, you
can choose whatever heaven grants
as long as you can have your chance
I swear I'll give my life for you

no one can stop what I must do
I swear I'll give my life for you.

- Kim, Miss Saigon

After a While

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn...
and you learn...
With every good bye you learn.

--Veronica A. Shoffstall (1971)

There's a Fine, Fine Line

Here's a piece from the soundtrack of the hilarious Broadway play AVENUE Q, winner of the 2004 Tony Award for Best Musical. Will anyone please take me to New York so I can finally watch this live... please?

Anyway.. G, this song is for you... and for me ;p


There's a Fine, Fine Line
(sang by Kate Monster)

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top
if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line
between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime

But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line
between what you wanted and what you got
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.


Click to play the song:

avenue q songs
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Half-Life

From the moment I first heard Henryl belt out this song at a videoke joint, to a million Duncan Sheiks after -- this song never fails to move me.


Half-Lifeby Duncan Sheik

i'm awake in the afternoon
i fell asleep in the living room
it's one of those moments
when everything is so clear

before the truth goes back into hiding
i want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding something more than this fear

it takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now, tell me how to make amends

maybe, I need to see the daylight
leave behind the half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

oh lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

i keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing, my fellow man
i guess I'll let you know
when i figure it out

and I don't mind a few mysteries
they can stay that way it's fine by me
but you are another mystery i am missing

it takes too much out of me to pretend

maybe, I need to see the daylight
leave behind the half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

oh lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love
again

'cause lately something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life,
without you I am breaking down

oh wake me, i wanna see the daylight
save me from this half-life
let's you and I escape
escape from time

come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love
come on let's fall in love
again