Reality Bites

At some point in our lives, we’re expected to leave home and be “independent”. My history teacher used to say that this period is particularly significant because it is when we learn the art of hunting and picking food on our own. In his early 20s, my older brother moved to another island and adopted the vegan lifestyle for a time. My friend Orleyne went to Saipan and trailed the path of a wine connoisseur. Two years ago, my friend MD also flew to Korea and learned to love kimchi. In my and my sister’s case, however, it was our parents who left us home – forcing us to be independent and to fend for ourselves.

By the time I graduated from college, my parents’ move to their new house by the beach was already complete. They did it so gradually over my last couple of years in school that I hardly noticed it. The way some furniture and appliances disappeared bit by bit should have sent the bells ringing. But when you have a thesis to think of, most things just fade away.

“Girls, we’ll be transferring the big TV to the new house. We’ll just trade in a new, smaller one, okay?” I now remember Mami asking us.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go, go,go,” I mumbled as my eyes remained glued to the PC screen, trying to reconstruct bar graphs and make sense of statistical boink-ilations. “Who has time to watch TV anyway?”

Up to now I still can’t believe I said that. But my Mami swears by it so I can’t argue my way to repossessing the big TV back now that the thesis-tical fog has long cleared. Sneaky is what they are (I love you mom, pops).

And then, some of the kitchen utensils, clocks, linens, and what-else too said bye-bye. But it never really hit us until one day, my sister and I stood before our ref (thank God it’s too big to move miles away) and discovered all the food was gone!

Resigned to the fact that our Mami has defected to another camp, go to the grocery store ourselves, we did. We tried. My sister and I really tried. But our first attempt at domestic survival 101 was a disaster and that, apparently, set a precedent to our other expeditions to grocery land. I don’t know, but we always seem to end up with too much junk food and not enough ingredients for a home-cooked meal.

Okay, so we’re not too hot on the kitchen department. Good thing for us, there are still TV, billboards, and friends to clue us in on the Generation X Survival Kit.

Table of Contents: FOOD … turn to page three.

There it is! The subtitles: Instant Cuisine (i.e. pancit canton, canned food, oatmeal, choco/coffee mix, etc.); Take-Out (i.e. Jollibee drive-thru; Dim sum and then some); Order-out (i.e. KFC, pizza, pizza, pizza); and Dining Out (i.e Welcome to Ayala Mall… I love you more today than yesterdaaaay….)

And then, when reality bites, there’s the comforting Gen-X Menu, carefully crafted and passed on from one clueless food hunter to another of this generation.

The Gen-X Menu is a product of years of research, trial and error, and copying each other’s eating habits. For the benefit of those neophytes to independent life, let me share with you a portion of this menu. Perhaps, it’ll help make your adjustment a little easier. I make no guarantees. It may not pass the standards of today’s culinary artists but, I tell you, it’s fast and easy (Gen X’s mantra) to put together. Just add water, chill, or simply mix and match. Some may be tempted to brand it as weird but I call it simply an exotic mix. As for side effects, all I can say is -- I still don’t have any ulcer and my bowel movement remains relatively fine. Safe enough? So go, be adventurous. Have a few bites of the Gen-X Menu at your own risk. Here are some personal favorites:

Appetizers
Ripe banana dipped in yummy peanut butter
Steamed banana slathered with cheez whiz
Ripe banana topped with dried fish (from Fritz)
Green mangoes topped with shrimp paste

Soup
Nesvita milk cereal
Fresh milk with coco crunch

Main Course
Lucky Me pancit canton with skyflakes
Lucky Me pancit canton with Spanish bread
Lucky Me pancit canton with chicharon
Lucky Me pancit canton with fried/grilled fish

Milo (powder variety) mixed with white rice (from Maya and Louie)
Barbecue-flavored Chippy with white rice (from Ever)
Super cold leftover spaghetti
Canned tuna with crackers

Dessert
Black coffee with flavored French fries (try sour cream and cheese)
Black coffee with Cadbury chocolates (not to be mixed)
Hot tea with frozen yogurt
San Mig Strong Ice with semi-frozen cheesecake
Vodka Ice with DJ Mix

Of course, we’ll grow out of this menu eventually. Either we break down and visit our folks more often for some real food, or our bodies break down and we’re forced to submit to a healthier lifestyle. But till then, aahhh-cheeww!

-- SunStar Weekend, 23 October 2010

Hey, Dude (3)

Part 3: if I were a boy…

In recent issues of Cosmopolitan magazine, I found pages of stylish women power dressing like men. There’s the Corporate Girl in classic red tie, vested blouse and loafers; the Sporty Equestrienne in leather pants, black vest and hard hat; and the Football Fierce in shorts, knee-high socks and booties. Not bad. Which leads me to wonder, if women nowadays can wear men’s clothes and shoes, would it be as easy to actually walk in them?

As much as I love being a girl, there are days when I think about how cool it would be to go into this alternate universe where there’s no obsessive talk about men, makeup or getting fat. Just imagine the sheer bliss of going shirtless on a hot summer day; or playing a bloody, senseless game like rugby just because you’ve got balls; or of turning suddenly dense in the face of a woman gone mad. Aaahh.

If I were a boy, even just for a day, maybe I’d do as Beyonce would. You know, “roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go; or drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls…” (there now, no need to finish the song.)

But then again, who wants to be typical? More than that, perhaps, I’d take my cue from the cool inspiring dudes who’ve made their mark in history. So if I were a boy, I would:

Learn how to dance like Patrick Swayze
There’s nothing sexier than a man who knows how to hold and move her woman. As a young girl I was mesmerized by Patrick Swayze dancing like the wind in the ‘80’s smash hit “Dirty Dancing”. I remember thinking-- so a man can be beautiful, graceful and a total jock at the same time? Wow. Since then, no matter how they annoy me, I try not to underestimate what men can do.

Lead with compassion like Nelson Mandela
If not for the movie “Invictus”, I wouldn’t have known the depth of Nelson Mandela, particularly his compassion, empathy and tolerance as he championed the cause of fairness or justice for all. Mandela was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for the role he played to end Apartheid and establish the foundation for a peaceful transition to a democracy in South Africa. He was confined in a maximum security prison for some years before he was elected president in the first free elections for all races in South Africa. I find inspiration in his words, "It always seems impossible until it is done" and "After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb."

Face my Goliath like King David
One man’s faith in God caused him to look at a giant from a different perspective. The Philistine giant Goliath was recorded to measure over nine feet tall and yet, David, probably just a young teenager at the time, had the heart to look at the bigger picture. Who would have thought that a single slingshot could kill one’s giant fear? Call him crazy, but for a man of great faith, nothing is impossible.

Play ball like Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan, in my opinion, is probably the greatest basketball player who ever lived. He led the Bulls to six NBA championships; was named Most Valuable Player in the NBA Finals six times; became one of the highest pointers in NBA history with a scoring average of 30.12 per game, reportedly the most ever. Besides, who hasn’t seen him fly? Or was that the shoes? Check! The real question is though: what put Michael Jordan at the top of his game? A couple of insights from his interviews: Michael Jordan found something he’s truly passionate about and, more strikingly, he wasn’t afraid to fail. To quote him, “I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Lay my heart on the line like Shakespeare in love
To have written that many love sonnets and plays, be it tragic or comedic, Shakespeare’s got one brave, romantic soul. He wasn’t afraid to lay it out for the world to see. From his words, we taste the many flavors of love: be it Bittersweet – “Come what sorrow can, It cannot countervail the exchange of joy, that one short minute gives me in her sight” (Romeo & Juliet); Sour – “Love goes by haps; Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps” (Much Ado About Nothing); Hot – "I know a lady in Venice would have walked barefoot to Palestine for a touch of his nether lip" (Othello); or Spicy – “The course of true love never did run smooth” (A Midsummer Night's Dream).

Strive to be better like Mahatma Gandhi
You’ll be surprised to learn that Mahatma Gandhi used to be a shy and introverted boy who refused to stay back after school to interact with his classmates for fear of being laughed at. He’s also been described as a “young timid lawyer”. Gandhi himself said, “I claim to be no more than an average man with less than average abilities.”And yet, Gandhi went on to become one of the most respected spiritual and political leaders of the 20th century. History tells he helped free the Indian people from British rule through nonviolent resistance (ahimsa), and is honored by his people as the Father of the Indian Nation. It is said that Gandhi dedicated his life to discovering truth, learning from his own mistakes and conducting experiments on himself. In fact he called his autobiography “The Story of My Experiments with Truth.” Gandhi stated that the most important battle he had to fight was overcoming his own demons, fears, and insecurities. But Gandhi had the firm conviction that all people possess the innate capability to change from within, in the pursuit of what’s right.

Let’s face it, as girls would be quick to point out, no man is perfect. But then, I believe there are also enough great men around to not lose hope. “If I were a boy”, as Beyonce sings, I’d learn from them and be a better man.

--SunStar Weekend, 09 October 2010