Wine O’ Whine

On a free night, with the air still warm from bodies left over a week after the jam packed Sinulog grand festival, four friends huddle in the cold comfort of the dimly-lit Wineshop.

One is rugged, one casual, another in a dress, and still another scantily clad. One is a guy, one female bisexual, and the two straight gals. Their outlooks and their intangible baggage are as varied as the drinks at the bar. But they’ve been friends a long time and though sometimes they don’t hear each other, they speak the same language.

Their fresh young faces accented with loud voices draw the eye of some regular patrons who, numbed with wine, are tolerant but curious.

An old white man rudely stares from the bar, half-listening to his barely dressed companion. A brown finger a couple of tables away taps a neighbor and points to the skinniest and loudest of the four.

She is C. And because it’s her 27th birthday, she gets to choose the color of wine. It’s white, this time.

The almost empty bottle of Don Barroso lies chilled in a bucket of melted ice. As the glasses meet and clink for the nth time, they become more and more oblivious to anyone but themselves.

C: (half-drunk and half-out of her chair) Hear, hear! Let’s raise our glasses. I propose a toast … a toast to…to… what do we toast to?
B: Love!
(Three pairs of eyes turn to glare at him)
D: Get that sappy grin off your face. You make me sick.
B: Look who’s jealous! Can I help it if I’ve found a girl? Now, after a long time, I’ve finally ---
A: Hurry up, C, my arm’s aching.
C: To friendship, then.
(Three tongues say, “Again?!!”)
C: (glares) Can you think of a better one?

(Their eyes roll but they clink their glasses anyway)

D: Listen, what do I do now? Who do I choose? I love the boy, but I can’t dump the girl either.
C: Shyeeett. It’s 10 PM and he still hasn’t greeted me.
A: (flipping through a mag) So you call and tell him to greet you.
C: Are you out of your mind? I can’t do that. It’s over between us. He’s got another girl now (sobs)
D: (Reaches for C’s cell phone) Give me that.
C: What are you doing?
D: Texting him. (C lunges for her) Aww, easy there. Haven’t sent it yet. If you don’t want to take action, then nothing’s ever going to happen. Stop whining about it. Can we focus on me now please?
A: (lifts the magazine) Look, cool heels, huh? I’m gonna buy one tomorrow.
D: (wails) You’re not paying attention.
A: What? I heard you. I just don’t like your problem. You’re whining about two lovers when I’m batting zero now.
D: Is it my fault you prefer long-distance flings? So what, you’re not gonna help me anymore?
A: Look, isn’t that the same issue we’ve been talking about since three years ago? Can you imagine how many cups of coffee we’ve consumed over that already? Now, we’ve shifted drinks and still that? Puhleezz, make up your mind already and stick to it. (glances at the bucket beside C) Is there more wine?
C: (pours wine) I hate him. After all we’ve been through, he can’t even greet me on my birthday? The asshole. I’m gonna forget about him. Mark my words. I’m deleting his number right now. (deletes number) There.
D: Yeah, yeah, yeah
A: As if you haven’t memorized it yet.

(A & D laughs)

C: Here’s an answer to your question, D—stick to the girl. Men are scum.
D: What do you think, B? I need your expert male opinion. B? B? Earth to B!
C: You still texting her? You’ve been at it for an hour already.
D: Don’t you know it’s rude to talk to another girl when you’ve got three lovely ladies in front of you? (Bats her eyelash)
B: Yeah, right. Listen, she’s at the Village.
C: So you’re going?
B: Of course not.
A: What do you mean, ‘of course, not’? You like her don’t you? She’s out there. It’s your chance to make your move. Go!
B: It’s too early at this stage. I don’t want her to think I’m following her.

(Three girls roll their eyes)

A: I don’t understand men. You and your silly ideas. Ugh!
D: If I were you, I wouldn’t be here just texting her. I’d be out there talking to her right now.
C: Yeah. And while you’re at it, some flowers would be a nice touch.
A: Flowers are nice, but chocolates are even better. How about both? And then a restaurant, maybe, nothing fancy, mind you, but some place quiet –
C: Yeah, and—
B: Wait, wait, wait, who’s courting her? Me, or you?
A: (giggles) Us.

(The phone beeps)

C: (shrieks) It’s him, it’s him! (A & D shriek as well) My gosh, he actually texted! Do I text him back? What do I do? What do I do?
A: Cool it. Text him back.
C: What do I say?
D: Thanks or whatever…
A: How about: Thanks for remembering
C: Yes! Wait – do I text that with a period or ellipses?
B: Period
A: Ellipses
B: No, period.
A: No, ellipses.
B: You’re making it sound like there’s more to say when you’re just saying ‘Thanks’
A: Isn’t that the point?
B: I stick with period. Be done with it and move on.
D: You have a point there. But that’s not what C wants. You go crazy when you deny yourself. Keep him dangling. Go with ellipses, C.
C: Outvoted, B. Ellipses it is. Message sent.

Fifteen minutes later…

C: (wails) Why doesn’t he answer? Aaarggh
B: (reading his l8est msg) I think she’s getting tired. I better end it now.
D: Tell her “sweet dreams”
A: And don’t forget the (hic) tic… (hic) tic… keeerrrr.

(Everybody laughs)

B: Okay, “Take care” sent.
A: Hic! Is there more wine? Can we order the red one now please?
C: Uuulk! I think I’m gonna puke. I need to go to the restroom. (rushes to the restroom)
D: (calls after her) You need help?

(C shakes her head. D signals the waiter instead. The waiter approaches but the old white guy beats him to the table)

OWG: Hi, can I buy you a drink? May I get your number?
D: (drawls) Sorry, honey, but I’m in the mood for a woman right now.
OWG: (turns to A) How about you, sweetie?
B: Look, man, the girls are not interested.
OWG: I’m not asking you.
B: Don’t be rude. Go back to the bar.
OWG: Your loss, sugar. (swaggers off)
A: (sighs) Why couldn’t he be tall, dashing, and 20 years younger? Now, he’s totally ruined my appetite.
B: It’s time to go.

(B asks waiter for the bill. C arrives)

C: I wrecked the Ladies’ Room. Don’t go there.
D: What! Yuuuck
A: It’s time to go anyway.

(Waiter brings the bill)

C: What! We're leaving? Nooo, he hasn’t texted me back yet.
B: Face it, girl, he never will.

So they left, none the wiser. But talks like this, my dear friends, is the reason I think wine tastes as it does.