From Flip Flops to High Heels

"It's a hell of a lot easier to talk with flip-flops than high heels.”
-- Overheard at a cocktail party

If I were to live in my version of a perfect world, I’d walk around the earth barefoot. Just imagine the sheer bliss of the touch of wet grass, fine sand, cool stone or polished wood against your feet. But since it’s not just practical in this time and place, I settled for the longest time on the next best thing -- flip flops.

Known as slippas in Hawaii, thongs in Australia, ojotas in Argentina, flip flops come in a lot of names, shapes, material and sizes. I couldn’t be more grateful when, about five years ago, the launching of ridiculously priced slippers finally made it acceptable and fashionable to be worn where it never dared to tread before. Havaiannas, Ipanema, Crocs. Even surf brands like Quiksilver and Billabong are marketing these with their usual wacky flair. Now you can mall shop in flip flops and no one would bat an eyelash.

For years I was comfortable. As much as possible, I avoided events, places and jobs with footwear restrictions. I didn’t go far, true, but at least I could run.

That is, until my world began to shift -- friends starting to get married, me getting pulled into the corporate world, clients launching cocktail parties. One time, someone bluntly told me I could not step through the doors of the career I wanted until I managed to be 3 inches taller than my normal 5’1” frame.

So time came when I finally stopped running, opened wide my closet doors and seriously evaluated my footwear selection of flip flops, sneakers, flats, and more flip flops. A dear friend pointed out I needed to infuse a sense of adventure into my limited collection by considering other strange yet fascinating footwear such as platforms, wedges, stacked heels and, finally, fab spikes or stilettos.

I’ve always had high respect for women who manage to wear heels to work, wear heels to events, and even wear heels to shop for more heels. Though probably not as bad as the Chinese Wrap Shoes of olden days, for me, walking on high heels is definitely risky business. The good thing about it though is that there will always be another lady willing to teach you how.

Let me share with you some tips I learned from other women: start with a low or thick heel; conquer it one inch at a time; practice walking on carpeted floors; walk with your legs straight, chin up and shoulders back; take smaller strides to help maintain balance and minimize the risk of damage to the feet. More importantly, just keep on practising till you get it right.

As for me, the first time I was brave enough to try them on in public, I landed on my butt while strutting down the tiled steps of SM Baguio. Taking my cue from Miriam Quiambao, I just stood up, laughed and learned to strut again… far away from the embarrassing spot, of course.

Up to this day, I’m still getting the hang of high heels. Most of the time, I still favor my flip flops. But as you flow from one life to another, one event to the next -- it’s always nice to know that a girl has options.


-- SunStar Weekend, 3/21/2009

The Best Choice

Another friend of mine recently left the country to join the thousands of overseas Filipino workers in Singapore. This despite current news of massive layoffs there and talks of looming recession in Asia. It’s not that she did not have a good job here. In fact, she was on her way to becoming the top agent in her company. It’s just that it’s always been her parents’ dream for her to go abroad. So go on, her heart said. Stupid, some might say. Brave, I should say. After all, despite all odds, she’s fighting to be the best daughter.

When my previously gay friend announced that he wanted to get married to a real lady, there were a lot of eyebrows raised. Why? How? We were still asking these big questions even while he was walking down the aisle. Could he ever remain faithful? Perhaps. As he said, he might not be the best man, but he respected the girl he married and his dream was to be the best father he could be.

About two years ago, I gave up a high paying job in the city to be a part time bum/writer in another island. I left my friends, my comfort zone, and perhaps broke my family’s heart a bit. Most people thought I was crazy. But then, I needed the break from the familiar to rediscover my better self.

Everyday we make choices – who to spend time with, what things to do, what to junk, which voices to hear and so on. And no matter how these make sense to us, there will always be people – even those we love - who will judge and question the choices we make.

Hear it from Kris Aquino on national TV: “You can’t please everyone.” How true. Just consider how some people are so quick to dismiss us when we fall short of the best expectations: Why can’t we be the best friend that we used to be? Why aren’t we the perfect son or daughter? Why didn’t we make it as top employee of the month? Why can’t we be the best writer?

Sometimes it’s not a matter of incompetency, inability or indifference. A lot of times it’s because we’re prioritizing and allowing ourselves to be better or the best at something else.

We live in a time of highly specialized careers, Coke Lights and Coke Zeros, mouse clicks and Internet options. Opportunities are endless. Choices run high. So as not to be buried alive, decisions have to be made. In deciding the best choice, there’s the ultimate question: What do we want or who do we want to be?

Consequently, there will be sacrifices, other things put aside, and people left behind.

Princess Fiona gave up beauty to be the best wife to Shrek. Years ago, Lea Salonga quit school despite her high scholastic records to be the best theatre actress. Queen Elizabeth chose to be married to her throne, giving up love perchance, to be the best queen of England.

We need not apologize for the choices we make. The truth is we can’t be the best of everything. What’s important is that -- be it at one thing or another-- we’re constantly choosing to be better. That is the best choice.


--SunStar Weekend, March 7, 2009