The Best Choice

Another friend of mine recently left the country to join the thousands of overseas Filipino workers in Singapore. This despite current news of massive layoffs there and talks of looming recession in Asia. It’s not that she did not have a good job here. In fact, she was on her way to becoming the top agent in her company. It’s just that it’s always been her parents’ dream for her to go abroad. So go on, her heart said. Stupid, some might say. Brave, I should say. After all, despite all odds, she’s fighting to be the best daughter.

When my previously gay friend announced that he wanted to get married to a real lady, there were a lot of eyebrows raised. Why? How? We were still asking these big questions even while he was walking down the aisle. Could he ever remain faithful? Perhaps. As he said, he might not be the best man, but he respected the girl he married and his dream was to be the best father he could be.

About two years ago, I gave up a high paying job in the city to be a part time bum/writer in another island. I left my friends, my comfort zone, and perhaps broke my family’s heart a bit. Most people thought I was crazy. But then, I needed the break from the familiar to rediscover my better self.

Everyday we make choices – who to spend time with, what things to do, what to junk, which voices to hear and so on. And no matter how these make sense to us, there will always be people – even those we love - who will judge and question the choices we make.

Hear it from Kris Aquino on national TV: “You can’t please everyone.” How true. Just consider how some people are so quick to dismiss us when we fall short of the best expectations: Why can’t we be the best friend that we used to be? Why aren’t we the perfect son or daughter? Why didn’t we make it as top employee of the month? Why can’t we be the best writer?

Sometimes it’s not a matter of incompetency, inability or indifference. A lot of times it’s because we’re prioritizing and allowing ourselves to be better or the best at something else.

We live in a time of highly specialized careers, Coke Lights and Coke Zeros, mouse clicks and Internet options. Opportunities are endless. Choices run high. So as not to be buried alive, decisions have to be made. In deciding the best choice, there’s the ultimate question: What do we want or who do we want to be?

Consequently, there will be sacrifices, other things put aside, and people left behind.

Princess Fiona gave up beauty to be the best wife to Shrek. Years ago, Lea Salonga quit school despite her high scholastic records to be the best theatre actress. Queen Elizabeth chose to be married to her throne, giving up love perchance, to be the best queen of England.

We need not apologize for the choices we make. The truth is we can’t be the best of everything. What’s important is that -- be it at one thing or another-- we’re constantly choosing to be better. That is the best choice.


--SunStar Weekend, March 7, 2009