Naked Eyes Part 2: Flying with The Green Lantern

In brightest day, in blackest night / No evil shall escape my sight / Let all who worship evil’s might / Beware my power, Green Lantern’s light! - Hal Jordan, The Green Lantern

If you've had a chance to read my previous column, you might remember that I had finally taken the plunge and booked myself in for a LASIK surgery consultation. The moment I opted for ‘laser eyes’, I decided to go deaf as well to the loud, noisy voices inside me and the outside world insisting, “Are you crazy?” “You’ll go blind” or “That’s the scariest thing ever!”

That’s not to say though that I was completely immune to that big fat yellow energy called fear. I am aware of possible surgical complications hanging like a mean cloud over my head. I guess it was just fortunate that the movie Green Lantern was showing in the cinemas at the time and if ever there’s one message it pounded through my reality, it’s this: that we all have the ability to be fearless or to overcome fear! Well, let’s just see about that.

After much research on the LASIK centers available in Cebu, I decided to stick to Centre for Sight at Cebu Doctor’s Hospital. One, they have the latest and most advanced LASIK equipment available: the ALLEGRETTO WAVE® Eye-Q laser system. Two, Centre for Sight has been at the forefront of Refractive Surgery, giving people the chance to see again at 20/20 vision since 2002. Three, the eye surgeon Dr. Yong Larrazabal is a pioneer in Lasik surgery and was recommended by my equally amazing current eye doctor, Dr. Patricia Cinco-Calderon. Besides, he heads the team that has reportedly performed the most number of Lasik procedures outside Metro Manila, so he must know what he's doing, right? But being a communications practitioner, what really clinched it for me was that Centre for Sight provides the most well-informed website about LASIK surgery. For me, anyone who anticipates my questions and provides me with answers before I could ask them must be true to their service.

So there I went to my eye-screening evaluation on a Monday. It’s almost like an audition. The doctor will have to test your eyes’ talents to see if they could be cast into the operating theater. First stop, the refraction test room. The lovely optometrist, Dr. G Manalo gently gave directions and let my eyes perform the dance: blink, read and read (I must have read a hundred letters!), close, open, open wide, dilate, blink, blink, blink. More tests followed in Dr. Yong’s office. Cornea’s thick enough. No cataract or glaucoma. Voila! I was qualified. Good job, eyes.

During the pre-screening, I only had one pressing question: “Doctor, is it possible I’ll go blind?” Please, please cute doctor, just lie to me if it’s true. But Dr. Yong just sat there and calmly said, “Well, we don’t rule out that possibility” Gulp. “But since we introduced Lasik in 2002, we’ve performed about 8,000 operations already and so far, we’ve had zero case for blindness.” That’s something then.

After being told I was a good candidate for LASIK surgery, I decided right then to schedule the procedure that same week. They operate only once a week -- on a Wednesday-- which as the fates would have it, was also my birthday. Never mind. I figured two days was more than enough time to prepare for it without giving myself too much time to freak out and change my mind.

Wednesday came soon enough and to my surprise, there were eight of us scheduled for operation that afternoon. Each of us were given a Valium – to calm us or help us sleep right after the ‘nightmare’ (don’t mind if I take two!) Sadly I think I was so cracked out on coffee that the Valium barely worked. Then we were led to the waiting room for pre-op sanitation. There was lots of humor to be found amongst the other patients which helped me relax. It probably had something to do with the cute head bonnets and little booties we all had to wear. Or it could be that we were all just so giddily scared, it was funny. Or maybe it was the blurry image of Beyonce on the video screen on the wall, shaking that beautiful ass while we waited for our turn.

A few minutes later, I was led to the operating room. I saw the eye savior machine: the 30 million peso investment Allegretto Wave Eye-Q Laser system supposed to weave magic on half-blind creatures like me. Oh well, this is it, heaven help me. Bring it on, dear Allegretto!

As soon as I lay down, I could hear Dr. Yong’s cheerful voice, “Look towards the green light.” My naked eyes looked up. There it was: green- the color of will. At that moment I knew I was going to be all right. The good Lord has graciously sent me The Green Lantern, after all.

The experience was almost surreal. It’s like being transported in a machine to the universe. To distract myself, I replayed the fight scene between the Green Lantern and the evil yellow-hued fear-catcher Parallax. I was so engrossed by the movie in my mind I almost did not to notice what they’re doing to my pretty eyes. Almost, but not quite, as I’m too much of a curious writer not to record everything.

Like how they numbed my eyes with drops, put a patch over my left eye first, so it wouldn't see what’s happening to the right eye and run away. They taped my right eyelids back and then put some little spring like device in there to hold it open. This part might look freaky in the videos, but surprisingly it’s not really painful at all. The next part though was a bit uncomfortable. Something like a suction device was attached to my eyeball, creating some pressure, while they create a flap. Lovely. I swallowed my fear, cleared my mind and imagined flying higher with the Green Lantern. Then everything went dark.

From afar I could hear the buzzing sound of the laser machine being fired up, smelled something like burnt hair. Then came the unearthly voice of the doctor’s assistant counting ... 50% ... 70%... oh gosh, are we there yet?... 80%...focus… 90%... 100%.... The machine finally stopped churning. Suddenly I could see red dots, like the enemy’s insides exploding. It was kinda pretty. They replaced the flap, gave it a lot of eye drops, and smoothed it all into place. The whole episode couldn’t have been more than 5 minutes. I could see the Green Lantern once more. In a godlike voice, Dr. Yong said, “Congratulations, operation went well.”

But just before you could feel like you just survived landing on the moon and are on your way back home to earth, you realize that you have one eye left to go. “Proceeding to the other eye. Ready.”

Groan. Look to the green light. Oh there you are! I relaxed a bit. The Green Lantern and I flew once more to the Universe, fought the enemy and waited in the dark for the portal’s countdown… 80% … 90%... 100%. Then, that cheerful voice again, “Operation is successful. Congratulations, birthday girl.”

When I opened my eyes, I could already see but everything was hazy, with halos surrounding objects. Have I died and gone to heaven then? The doctor’s angel hurriedly assured that’s normal and then led me back to earth, I mean, the waiting room, where the lovely Dr. Manalo applied drops of antibiotics and anti-inflammatory meds in each eye (no pain here!). She removed my cap and booties, gave me my detailed eye safety instructions and then some super fly protective sunglasses like Cyclop’s and I was done. I was told to go home and sleep it off for a few hours.

The morning after, I woke up. Oh hello, world! I couldn’t stop grinning. Beyond my window, I see the brightest day. I did it! Not only did I win 20/20 vision from yesterday’s battle, I overcame fear and found my courage as well. I soared with joy. The Green Lantern not far behind.

-- SunStar Weekend, July 30, 2011

Naked Eyes Part 1: Walking with Toph

“I've seen enough of Ba Sing Se; and I can't even see!” -- Toph Bei Fong, The Blind Earthbender

I’ve been dressing my eyes since I was 13-- thanks to early myopia and astigmatism. First there were the rose-colored eyeglasses, which easily branded me as “smart” or (let’s just say it) a “nerd” in school. As I aged, the lenses got thicker and heavier until one time at the mall, Fe delos Reyes introduced me to the scary world of contact lenses. At that time, I couldn’t fathom why anyone would voluntarily let anybody poke anything in one’s eyes. Just gross, isn’t it, so I ran away as far as I could from the grinning optometrist.

But then in my 20s, vanity struck and I figured what a sweet life it would be if I didn’t have to keep pushing up my glasses every time I run at the Big Oval or if I can just kiss anyone passionately without banging them on the nose. Oops.

So I explored this scary yet fascinating world of contact lenses. I tried most of them – from the soft ones to RGPs. I learned the difference between fake and real tears. I appreciated the value of dirt-free eyes, so for many nights, I was a patient slave to lens cleaning. I learned to tolerate popping lenses and seeing strange halos at night (on some nice people, it actually fits). I developed special powers too-- even when drunk, I would always, somehow, remember to take off and clean my contacts. Otherwise, the lenses dry out and sucker themselves to your eyeballs which, believe me, you don’t really want to happen to you twice. Sigh.

For over 10 years, I lived in my contact lenses. So much so that working with my naked eyes no longer feel quite normal. One time, to my long time regret, I had to turn down a cute scuba diving instructor when he invited me for a date under the sea. Can you just imagine if my lenses would fall out and the fishes would eat them? Omg. How would I ever find my way back to the surface? Yes, my imagination is weird like that.

I guess I must have whined about this scuba date story a number of times (well, he was cute), because, one day, a friend suddenly blurted out in exasperation. “Have you ever considered going naked?” What?! “With your eyes, I mean, so you can keep your mouth closed. Geez. Take off the lenses. Do LASIK surgery.”

LASIK, as defined by www.larrazabaleye.com, is “a form of laser surgery that is capable of correcting nearsightedness, farsightedness, and astigmatism. The procedure uses a computer controlled excimer laser to reshape the cornea to correct your vision. The laser reshaping is done under a protective flap of tissue to promote a very rapid recovery of vision and minimize discomfort.”

Eye surgery? It was bad enough poking those little contacts in my eyes on a daily basis, but to actually have something zap my cornea … eeww! But then, when the universe conspires to grant you your heart’s desire, in my case- the freedom of a 20/20 vision, wouldn’t you at least consider going to bed with that mean laser machine?

Wide awake, I began to daydream about stuff people with graded eyes could only dream about. Such as seeing the clock at night without squinting, shaving my armpits and legs in the shower without guessing, not having one of those OMG moments when an RGP lens pops out and then searching through blurred eyes on the floor; no longer shopping for frames (it's almost as bad as shopping for high heels); no more travelling with big bottles of lens solution (as if my luggage is not heavy enough with the weight of today’s gadgets and numerous chargers). Well!

Fueled by these dreams, I began to research earnestly about LASIK surgery. Apparently, we are blessed to live in a time of wondrous technologies such as the New Allegretto Wave Eye-Q Excimer Laser System. Aside from being a mouthful, it is said to be the fastest, precise and most efficient laser in use today for laser vision correction. This was introduced to Cebu last year by Larrazabal Eye, headed by the initiative young eye surgeon Dr. Yong Larrazabal. It is also said the procedure takes only about 5 to 10 minutes per eye. That’s nothing compared to the time I spend cleaning lenses each night.

Then, I have to ask: what’s the worst thing that could happen? Like any surgical procedure, LASIK carries some risk of scary complications such as swelling, double vision, night vision problems (halos, hazes, stardusts), dry eye syndrome, or worse, severe corneal infection which could lead to blindness. Whoa! Though this is “extremely rare and highly unlikely”. Still, whoa!

Then to scare myself even more, I clicked on YouTube and watched a Lasik operation video. Just as we thought: Disgusting, scary, eeww.

But then, call me crazy, after everything I still like to go through with it. Well maybe it helped that I peppered every horror story with a handful of success testimonies from LASIK patients. It’s not an easy decision, mind you, but I guess, for me, it just boils down to one thing: if you’re not willing to handle the worst, then you don’t deserve the best.

To test myself, I decided to go naked (eyes, I mean) in public one afternoon. I left my RGPs and soft lenses swimming in their cases at home, while I secured my eyeglasses inside my bag (well, easy reach just in case). Half-blind, I sauntered to The Terraces, squinting against the bright light from the afternoon sun. Pretty brave, if you ask me, considering that I haven’t undressed my eyes in public for 20 years. If I look in the distance I can see blurry shapes and colors but have no idea what I'm looking at. Could be a tree, could be a person. To be on the safe side, I just plastered a half smile to my face and just faked it till I believed it.

With each blurry step, I find my thoughts gravitating towards Toph Bei Fong, the fictional blind master Earthbender, who managed to see the world with her feet. Among Avatar Aang’s friends, I’ve always had a fondness for Toph. In her words: “Even though I was born blind, I've never had any problems seeing! I see with earthbending. It's kind of like seeing with my feet. I feel the vibrations in the ground with my feet, and I can see where everything is: you, that tree, even those ants.”

I wonder about Toph’s awesome strength – despite her blindness, she fights. She doesn’t let life or anyone knock her down. And isn’t amazing how resourceful she is – letting her feet and her other senses do what her eyes couldn’t. She might just be one fictional character, but to this human, she is an inspiration.

Suddenly, as I stumble on mid-step, it became crystal clear to me—we need not fear whatever happens to us for the universe will always equip us with the strength we need to carry on. We are so much more than our present, our senses or whatever limited version we see of ourselves. The way I see it, I have two choices- to continue being afraid and never stop wondering about what-ifs for the rest of my life, or I can choose to punch my future in the dark and be a kick-ass girl like Toph.

With that, I went home, picked up the phone and promptly scheduled an appointment with Centre for Sight.

In my next column, I will tell you about the “eewwy” operation and how I flew with the Green Lantern. Stay tuned!

--SunStar Weekend, July 23, 2011

Show Me The Money

You know you’ve crossed over the thin line between professional bum to adulthood when ATM no longer means “’Ay Ta ‘Ma” and coffee table talks now linger over big words such as “investment”, “credit limit” and my favorite “stocks”. And no, “stocks” doesn’t mean the chocolate chip cookies in your mother’s ref or the gazillion pairs of shoes in Payless either. Rather, “stocks”, as I’ve come to understand it, are those fascinating blocks of hope you can buy and sell online, while clinging to a financial rollercoaster overburdened by a market screaming “Show Me The Money!”

Money – it’s a big word, too. Big enough that we often get asked what it means to us or how much bigger we want it to be. It’s so big, in fact, that it’s already up there trending on Twitter along with our favorite celebrities, you know – Kris Aquino, Jennifer Aniston, Johnny Depp and, yes, Johnny Depp. Like these big stars, we just can’t get enough of it. We can’t stop talking about it, too. Every controversial, or even boring, word it says gets recorded and printed on paper. We see Money performing on TV, streaming on Facebook, even walking down the red carpet or dancing in our favorite theaters. The funny thing is – no matter how big, or even when it’s already right in front of us-- it’s still not enough. It can bare its ass or rip its shirt off, and still people would scream “Show Me The Money!”

Ah, Money. Can you really blame it if it comes and goes? Like the slippery character of my good old friend Leo in the movie “Catch Me If You Can”, Money is always on the move. The more you chase it with bright lights and flashing cameras, the faster it runs. Perhaps that’s why the Financial Wizards of the city have rounded up its long time buddies: ATM, Stocks, Bond and Investment to know where Money could possibly be hiding or go next. As a wannabe proper adult, I joined their session one lazy Saturday afternoon. And like any responsible citizen of the green-eyed online generation, I whipped out my smart phone and tweeted the conversation.

When it comes to their friend Money, these guys love to talk. I listened to them sprout the many virtues of Money over steaming lattes, cold yogurt and banana chocolate muffins in Coffee Bean. ATM, Stocks, Bond and Investment all claim the rumor to be true: Money is with them. In that case, who doesn’t want to be friends with friends of Money? Before we stress ourselves looking for Money, first, allow me to introduce you to its friends as they might just be our answer to finding it.

“Stocks” is the funny guy. It doesn’t sit still. It can fly with the Green Lantern one day then take a dip in the ocean the next, wherever the whim takes it. It’s exciting and adventurous, that’s why Money enjoys playing games with it. “Stocks” is no stranger to me, too. For a time, I played with it online. Eventually I found that just like a colicky baby, you’ll have to cuddle, research, monitor and handle it with great care to keep its energy high. With a demanding day job, I knew I had to take a break from its highs and lows. In fairness, in the brief time we spent together, it did “Show me the Money”. It might be worth playing again with one day soon.

ATM is the kind one. For as long as you register with Savings, it can show you the Money any time, 24/7. It’s all over the city, too, it’s not that difficult to find. And just like a dependable bartender, it can dispense advice and listen to your Money woes in sympathy. It’s kinda limiting though for it can only give you as much as it gets.

Bond is the quiet one. It doesn’t say much and it takes its fine time sipping coffee for as long as it pleases. It’s annoyingly smug too over the fact that Money stays in its house for long periods of time. “Show us the Money,” the coffee drinkers demand. But Bond, like James Bond, just sits there, shrugs and continues to sip coffee (though it’s really wishing for a dry martini).

Among them, Investment -being the richest- is Money’s best friend. And rightly so for it only has its best interests at heart. It doesn’t limit Money, it forces it to go out and reach its full potential. To help us all, Investment finally says, “Hey listen, the best way to see Money is just to spend time and party with us. We cannot guarantee it’ll be there all the time. Money, after all is the child of the Economies and we all know how unpredictable they are. But Money always comes back. It loves to party with us.”

“Where do you, party,” a lady in red stilettos finally asks. “Vudu? Penthouse? The Malls? I’ve been there, mind you, and all I know is that, even if we go to the party together, I keep losing Money there.”

ATM and Stocks break into peals of laughter. The overconfident Bond chuckles. Investment just smiles knowingly and says fondly, “That’s Money for you -- a tease and a heartbreaker.”

Apparently, these guys party differently. They usually hang out in any one of Investment’s houses like PruLife U.K., Manulife, Sunlife Financial, or simply The Bank. Investment boasts that these houses are well-guarded and run by professionals so Money feels safe. In rare occasions, ATM confides, Money also attends Networking parties like Unicity, Amway or Forever Living, but more often than not, it shows up too late, so networkers are easily disappointed.

Even with black coffee, I catch myself yawning at the thought. Maybe, Money is boring after all. Either that or there’s more to it than meets the eye. Who can tell?

Finally, like any die-hard tweeter, my fingers poised on the phone screen, I ask the golden question, “Any tips on how we can be friends with Money?”

Stocks: “Well, when you see Money, don’t pinch it too hard or hug it too tight. It really hates that. High and low, honey, it’s got to flow.”

ATM: “Just let it go. The more you give, the more you get. Look here, when you want a smile out of someone, what do you do? You give out your smile first, right? That’s just how it is with Money. The best way to get it is to give it away.

Bond, for the first time, takes a pause from brooding and drinking, long enough to utter two simple words: “Be patient.”

Investment, ever the practical guy, promptly brings out a long form and says with the conviction of a Nike: “Just do it! Sign up and party with us.” And then, even before the ink could dry…“Got any referrals?”

Oh well, why not? The more friends of Money, the merrier. Just retweet if you please.

-- SunStar Weekend, 02 July 2011