My Sialo Experience: Chef Ron's One-of-a-Kind Degustation Menu

I rarely write anything these days, but this event with the remarkable Chef Ron of Cebu, Philippines, is just too good to pass up!

Last night, we were invited to partake of Chef Ron's 8-course degustation dinner menu at Sialo. As this was the 2nd invitation in a short span of a year, expectations were pretty high.

In his first ever degustation dinner at his home in 2017, he blew us away with his 'strange' (sometimes kilay-raising even) creations that married unlikely flavors that, somehow, blended perfectly on the tongue.

What surprise has he prepared for us now? Will he be able to top what he did last time? What new ingredients has he discovered? What changes to his service sequence has he implemented at Sialo?  Where will his big imagination take us this time? With Chef Ron, you just have to be ready with an open mind and an adventurous tongue.

For this dinner, Chef Ron said his new tasting menu will highlight local dishes with a twist and feature mostly ingredients and plants endemic (or at least very common) in Cebu. He wants to explore, elevate and champion modern Cebuano cuisine. And the way he did it? Proud to say that he did not disappoint. Let me show you.

Sialo's table setting for the night

Loved the simplicity, symmetry and play of glasses. Very basic and clean, not cluttered at all. As the overhead lights hit the table, it's like looking at and being dazzled by stars. You don't really get its sense of purpose until you sit down and feel the ease and coziness of the arrangement. By becoming simpler, his table setting has gone more elegant. Something to note for our own table set ups at home, yes? Impressive. Made me more excited for the dishes to come. 

Amuse-bouche (say as 'amoozboosh') is an appetizer meant to "amuse" the palate before a meal

To start, Chef Ron's 4 types of amuse-bouches. From left: yogurt sphere with gotu kola; goat cheese with red pepper puree; red watermelon and pickled goat cheese with basil; and smoked anduhaw pate with sour cream, dill, and truffle caviar

My personal favorite was the yogurt with gotu kola - which is said to be very common, you may even find it at your own backyard ;) Didn't expect the mix of yogurt and this plain green thing to be so refreshing. Sweet with a bite of bitter. Such a healthy mix. And of course, the smoked anduhaw with truffle caviar is a winner, too. The mouth is simply amused by the love affair of the anduhaw and caviar - which, as we say, are both a "catch".

Sialo's version of Cebu's Soup No. 5

Chef Ron personally calls this the "Love Soup". As he tells us, the meat- which he had to wake up very early for and buy at Carbon market since it gets sold out very fast - is cooked for 6 hours, then pureed and fused with herbs and spices, then added to the broth which was separately cooked.

Admittedly, I had to drum up some courage in taking the first spoonful. I mean, my imagination is just running wild! I may be a homegrown Cebuana, but I have never, ever, developed the taste for this local favorite, Lansiao -- (let me say this fast:) tender meat literally made of bull testicles and genitalia or penis chopped into smaller parts. So there!

But amazingly enough, Sialo's Love Soup is gooood! The broth is thick and still exotic to the tongue but none of the yucky aftertaste at all. Maybe because the meat was pureed and has transformed to a better-looking element? Haha. Or maybe it was tamed by the local herbs thrown in. Whatever, I ate the whole serving and told the mind to shusshh! Only you, Chef Ron, has made me do so. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing 

Sialo's beet root salad with vinaigrette, goat cheese, and gotu kola

Not a fan of beetroot either, despite its great reviews for its high nutritional value. But somehow the right mix of dressing, cheese and greens gave it such an interesting flavor, i cleaned up the bowl! As caught on cam, see that happy diner 

Heart of palm (ubod) fettuccini, with zucchini, parmigiano-reggiano, and the amazing popcorn powder

The most surprising dish of all. The dish that made us all go-- "What the -- this chef's brain must be out of this world." Bravo to his creativity and limitless imagination.

Who would have thought that ubod (heart of palm), when properly dressed, could pass for a fettuccine? Only a fashion designer-chef would! And then, sprinkled with popcorn powder of all things! Popcorn powder as a pasta element is certainly a first for me and I loved it! In fact, I forgot all about table etiquette and crossed over to the Yab's plate to scrape off some of it, too - it's that good!

A mix of gin, ginger, lavender, lemon peel, jasmine, galanggal, lemongrass and rosal, through an infusion siphon

This hot shot is said to be a palate cleanser. The chef made us drink this before proceeding to the main courses. As if we needed one from all the wines we've been drowning our system. But, I discovered to my delight, this beauty is Not to be missed. One of the best cocktails I've ever tasted (better than Dill or No Dill, promise!). Who would've thought that our dalagang Rosal could get along with Gin so well?! Tempted to get another shot then another, but on the third one, the chef whistled a warning. Oh well, everything in moderation then. But how could one resist when one shot could easily clear the mind? So refreshing.

Sialo's Deconstructed Kinilaw - Yellow fin tuna cured for 24 hours with dill, vodka, sugar, salt, coriander seeds, fennel seeds, pepper corn, with coconut-calamansi jelly

The Yab's favorite. The only time I heard him make a commentary on the table. Then after, while driving, still muttering, "Oh, that tuna..." This man, who likes his food straightforward, and nothing fancy, just gave a rare nod of approval! As he said, at first, you don't know what to make of it, but towards the end, as the tuna graciously starts to melt on your tongue, boom! Suddenly, a burst of heady flavors.

Sialo's sous vide pork belly, with heritage carrots, rice crackling, celery and apple puree

Chef Ron disclosed that the meat had to be cured for 24hrs then slow-cooked for 36 hours. Wow! Talk about the right blend of passion and perseverance. This tells me that while most big dreams require bold imagination, it must also be tempered by patience. The result? Meat-oh-so-tender-and-tasty! The saltiness balanced by the sweetness of the purees. If we weren't already a bit full as of this time, we would have shed all gracious manners and asked for a big pot of white-calorific-rice!

Sialo's masareal sorbet, with cucumber done 3 ways (smoked, pickled in vanilla syrup, and jelly)

Another one of those "How did you ever come up with this combo?" moment. So we had to ask the chef, how did you know that cucumber and masareal would pair so well? Chef Ron has his story: when he was a kid, he used to eat his cucumber with peanut butter. Jaws drop. Bananas and peanut butter, yes. But cucumber? Why didn't we ever experience that before? That would have been interesting, yes? As for me, I have a newfound respect for the local delicacy masareal. I don't eat much of it anymore because of its over sweetness and hard texture. But then again, when pampered and subjected to a proper makeover, this oh-so-soft-sorbet is just deliciously gorgeous!

Sialo's millenial budbud (sticky rice), with mango, mango and lemon puree, cocoa crumble, coconut-ginger sorbet, and coconut-white chocolate foam

My. Absolute. Favorite. The budbud with mango is a Cebuano dessert staple but this-- this I haven't tasted anything quite like. After the first bite, I thought - okay, we've found the entry to win all competing food entries. Chef Ron definitely saved the best for last. Just indescribable -words don't do it justice-- you Have To Taste It. You know that feeling after traveling to so many beautiful places, there is that even deeper thrill (even relief) of coming home, of finding the warmth, familiarity and comfort of a deeply missed loved one like no other? This is it. This is home. This is love grown. Familiar yet different. A love transformed you never expected. Not too sweet anymore, but still melts in the heart, and very easy on the stomach.

In fact, we were so happy that after a moment of silence savoring the food, we couldn't help but give a spontaneous round of applause to Sialo's Chef Ron. Speechless but stomachs full and hearts overflowing.

To Chef Ron of Sialo, congratulations!  Thank you so much for the honor and privilege of making us a happy part of this awesome journey. As a friend, I am so inspired by what you have accomplished. More than your talent and creativity, I am amazed by your heart, dedicated passion, generosity, and sense of purpose. As a business woman, I can see that Sialo has definitely evolved -- your months of research, study and practice have given your sequence a beautiful structure, you've nailed your timing and food portioning (this time, we were able to eat it all - wohooo!), all the while maintaining your creativity and spunk. Honestly, your menu is unlike any other - unexpected, original and something that we are definitely proud to call #modernCebuanocuisine. You've masterfully done a makeover and elevated what is common to something we can dream about. So to your question, YES - you are ready! Just do it :)

As defined by Wikipedia: "Dégustation is the careful, appreciative tasting of various food, focusing on the gustatory system, the senses, high culinary art and good company. Dégustation is more likely to involve sampling small portions of all of a chef's signature dishes in one sitting."

To my fellow happy guinea pigs, the night was made more awesome having spent it with you guys! Thank you for the stories, time, shared laughter, shared love, sense of adventure and contagious enthusiasm for Chef Ron's wild imagination and even wilder food! 

By appointment only

To everyone reading this blog, this is one experience I am very happy to recommend. If you want something uncommon, truly Cebuano, delicious, healthy and exclusive - SIALO na. Chef Ron is worth it.

Introductory price at P2,000 per head, minimum of 8 persons, maximum 25. Eight courses. Additional charge applies for wine pairing. By appointment only.

Eco-Warriors in Aloguinsan

It is quite an education to experience how the locals in Aloguinsan work together for sustainable development and eco-tourism. The one-of-a-kind Bojo River Cruise has gained not only provincial, but also national and international acclaim.

Truly impressive to see their women, farmers, fishermen, artists, cooks-- all play an active part, not only in promoting the town, but more importantly, in preserving their natural environment and local culture. What's more, they take time educating guests as well, understanding that environmental preservation is not only the job of one group, but for everyone who dares to walk the earth.

Everyone here is a stakeholder. Such involvement is truly commendable and the only way, I believe, to achieve true progress. As tourists or travelers, let us give our wholehearted support for such model communities. They rely on us as well to sustain this project and their consequent livelihood.

They may not be able to guarantee 100% efficiency or convenience all the time -- after all, drinks and food for the day always depend on the sea and farm's produce that season (so don't go all feeling entitled when your favorite meal is not readily available), accommodations are limited, and roads are not always in the best condition. But then the natural payoffs are quite priceless - clean rivers, warm smiles, healthy farm-to-table food, fresh mountain/sea air, amazing greenery and so much more.

So let's go visit, immerse in the experience, and pass it on in the hope that this kind of development will catch on. We may not be able to ever win the bigger war in politics, but in our own way, we can choose to Be an Eco-Warrior and own it.

So let's go, travel and learn. Game?

Once in a Pink Moon

This girl is excited to catch the rise of The Pink Moon (April's Full Moon) tomorrow, April 11, 2017.

Though, hold on, it won't particularly look pink as we might expect (or as I would love to see). The moon this month is named instead after pink flowers called wild ground phlox, which bloom in spring and become widespread in the U.S. and Canada this time of year.

No matter. The Pink Moon alludes to the changes in nature, the shifting of season --from full class to summer break, from strat planning to vacations, or from wet to dry here in our corner of the world.

For me, its rising stirs up seeds of change. What an exciting night to welcome new ventures, new blooms and new destinations coming our way.

So let's Seize the night. Share our stories. Once in a Pink Moon.

meeting mayon (part 2)

It's been said that Her Majesty, Mt. Mayon, only shows her full self to the pure of heart. It was our second day in Legazpi City and I was beginning to despair as, come early morning (when locals say she usually shows herself), cloud-covered Mayon still wasn't in the mood to grant audience to anyone. Okay then, maybe my heart is just not that pure, but after traveling all those miles, a lady can still hope.

Not giving up, my travel buddy Jan and I decided to try what Hollywood star Zac Efron did while visiting Albay about a year ago—the Mayon ATV Tour. We were inspired by the claim of Your Brother Travel & Tours, the pioneering and DOT-accredited ATV service provider in Legazpi, that the best way to fully appreciate and experience Mayon is to be bold and go on an adventure ride along its foothills-- the nearest allowable and “safe” zone for now, set by the volcano authorities.

So as early as 6 AM, Mr. Cyrel Francis Chan –Mayon trail guide and 6-year ATV jock and owner of Your Brother tours-- personally picked us up from the hotel to bring us to the ATV training grounds at Brgy. Pawa, Legazpi. The sky was overcast and yet, he was still cheerful and optimistic for us. You won’t regret it, he said.

I couldn’t help but comment how residents manage to stay so positive and happy despite the continuous threat of Mayon’s wrath. It is, after all, tagged as the most active volcano in the Philippines with about 48 recorded eruptions in 400 years. Just a day before, we visited the Cagsawa Ruins, survived by a lone convent’s belfry after what was reported to be the most lethal eruption in Mayon’s history, burying the whole town of Cagsawa and claiming the lives of around 1,200 locals in February 1814. 

Aren't people living here ever afraid of Mayon’s deadly tantrums? Well, as they see it, Mr. Chan said, it’s just the way of life. They’ve learned to go with the flow. When Mayon blows her top, of course, they try to get out of the way, seeking shelter in evacuation centers. But when she’s done, they always come back. Mt. Mayon, for better or worse, is their home. Then Mr. Chan shared this philosophy: one thing people in Albay learn to live by is that, for every disaster you survive, something good is bound to happen.

Leaving us with that thought, we suited up for the ATV ride of a lifetime. We were to embark on a 9-kilometer trail to Base 1 Camp, where a landmark lava wall stands. It was formed by a 6-kilometer spill from the volcano’s crater during Mayon’s 2006 eruption. You can see this black strip running at the center, even from the city.

We followed the trail along the rocky foothills. As we passed by boulders, black soils, and lava rocks amid small rivers, muddy floors and stubborn trees, I pondered on what Mr. Chan said. I considered Mayon’s wrath and her pain. But more interestingly so, I also began to see for myself evidence of her atonement.

 

As product of Mayon's eruptions, the land yields rich vegetation. You will see green fields and small farms built by the charming villagers, who will wave and cheer you on as you pass by. Lava rocks are quarried for free by the locals to build structures or improve livelihood. They have springs, rivers and water buffaloes. And then, I realize, Mayon also generates enough publicity- be it good or bad, to boost domestic tourism.

Braving the lava wall, we climbed and reached the lava bed-turned-helipad, where we were rewarded with a breathtaking 360 view of the Albay Gulf and city. I gazed up at Her Majesty, still partly covered by clouds -- so beautiful yet deadly. I wondered, who are you, Mayon? Are you friend or foe? Provider or destroyer? One thing for sure, I haven't known anyone quite like her.

I would have wanted to interview the lady and get some answers but, at that point I began to accept that perhaps, I wasn’t meant to see all of her. I decided not to push it. As a woman, I was beginning to understand her.

I considered what burden she carries. What is it like to be so perfect all the time? Or when your family’s livelihood somewhat hinges on your stardom? Just like a woman in high heels told to stand still forever as the whole world clicks on and immortalizes your perfection -- in her shoes, wouldn’t you be impatient, angry or a diva, too? She couldn’t even cry in private without the whole world watching. She scarred her perfect cone one day and she drew flak for it. No wonder she hides sometimes, don’t you think?

So I tell her, you do what you have to do, Your Majesty. I judge you no more. By nightfall, I went to sleep, simply grateful for the opportunity to get close.

But then, on my last day, something magical happened. I woke up to a clear view of Her Majesty. From my bedroom window, I could see her with nary a cloud to hide her slender tips, symmetrical body, and earthen robes highlighted in greens and browns. My jaw dropped. Simply amazing and perfect against a canvass of pale blue skies.

Then from a distance, I could see gentle steam coming out from her pointed tip. Looks like Mt. Mayon is preparing my coffee for breakfast. What a lady! Might as well get ready for that interview. Feeling blessed and humbled before such great beauty, I sent a prayer of thanks. Bless you, Legazpi City!

  

--Published SunStar Weekend, July 13, 2013

Meeting Mayon (part 1)

In recent months, the Philippines’ most active and most photographed volcano, Mt. Mayon, has been headlining the newsfeeds for the nth time. Very much like a controversial superstar, her latest story left the nation, and the rest of the world, both horrified and fascinated. In early May, you see, a few brave men tried to cross her boundaries and she didn’t like that one bit. Like a woman in rage, she spewed out ashes and rocks – a surprising eruption recorded to have lasted about 73 seconds – sending five climbers to their deaths and injuring seven others. I read the news with mixed emotions. My heart went out to the men, but they were, after all, warned against getting too close to the lady.

The celebrated face of Albay province, local folklore refers to the volcano as Bulkang Mayon, after the legendary heroine Daragang Magayon, which in Bicol means "Beautiful Lady". Through the years, she has gained international acclaim as one of the world’s natural wonders due to her unique symmetric conical shape or almost “perfect cone”, formed through layers of lava flows from past eruptions and erosions. Mt. Mayon, as you may very well know by now, is also gossiped far and wide due to her fiery temper, having reportedly erupted over 48 times in the past 400 years. 

So beautiful yet deadly. Both a national treasure and disaster. She’s all aloof and a snob and yet, so many people are waiting for her next breath. As I read more about her, the more curious I become. Given Mt. Mayon’s very unpredictable nature, I wonder, how long will she last? Will she be able to sustain what no woman ever could— ageless beauty and perfection? How many more years before she decides to quit show business? At that moment, I decided, I have got to see her in person before she fades away.

A lot of people advised me against it. She's too angry, they say, she's not safe to be around. Some say she's a diva, throwing fits here and there at the slightest provocation. Comparing her to a moody queen, a few friends who’ve been there also warned that she may not even show herself upon visit, granting audiences only when she feels like it.

I refuse to give up on her though. Somewhere inside, she must have a heart. I know for a fact that cities are built around her. Why else would people flock and live with her if she doesn’t have one, right? So packed with much hope and faith, I flew to Legazpi City, hoping to meet and interview the lady.

 Even from the plane, one could see that Mt. Mayon wasn't in the mood to show herself that day. She covered herself in clouds and gathered in rain from the horizon. Local folks say that Mt. Mayon only shows herself to the pure of heart. I was beginning to suspect that perhaps, I don't have one.

Just give her time, said the all-knowing and friendly concierge of The Oriental Hotel Legazpi, which I found, has the best view of Mt. Mayon. Even covered in clouds, she looks majestic, rising over 8,000 ft. from the shores of the Gulf of Albay. The front desk clerk tipped that the best time to meet Mt. Mayon is at the break of dawn or sunrise, when one's heart isn't burdened yet with the day's worries. Meantime, she continued with a smile, why not enjoy the city first?

So off I went to explore Legazpi City. Like a fan, I researched on her body of work, history and people. I discovered that Mt. Mayon is home to eight cities and municipalities namely Daraga, Camalig, Guinobatan, Ligao City, Tabaco City, Malilipot, Santo Domingo, and Legazpi City – the capital of Albay. What is surprising, I find, is that even with her deadly tantrums, she is well-loved by her people. They are not at all afraid of her.

It was a joy to find the people peaceful and calm. The streets were surprisingly safe to walk on. They have a feast for every guest. I had a fine time shooting up my cholesterol to alarming levels sampling their famous bagnet, tinapa rice, pinangat, laing, Bicol Express, and DJC halo-halo. And then, with a devilish grin, the tour guide took us to First Colonial resto for a cup of sili ice cream. Ooh lala, this was one mean, hot ice cream. Like Mt. Mayon, it's either you love it or hate it. For me, both are true.

As the day progressed to twilight, I realized that Mt. Mayon is a tease as well. Though partly hidden by clouds, her majestic presence can be felt and seen anywhere you go. On high, she would give you glimpses of her perfect neck, her emerald skirts, slender waist, a pout and a smile here and there. If this was a trailer to the show, then I can't wait for the full feature in the morning.

The sun will come out tomorrow, I was certain. Till then, beautiful lady.  

--Published SunStar Weekend, July 6, 2013

thoughts on fire

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. The thought flashed into my head as I was drying my hair in the bedroom. Before I could carelessly brush it off, I heard the shouts of warning, “Sunog! (Fire!)” With hair slightly dripping, I looked outside the window and there it was – a big ball of orange fire licking at trees and neighboring houses right across the street. I stood there for a moment, mesmerized by its passion – just like an angry woman spitting fire through the thick walls of her delinquent partner’s head.

The wind blew and the suffocating smell of smoke jolted me out of my reverie. The sight of flying embers sent signals to my hazy brain that this was for real and that I must act… fast. Even from across the street, I could feel the heat of the fire’s ire.

I shouted for everyone in the house, who I found, were already in panic. What to do? Call the firemen? I grabbed my cell phone and what the – I didn’t have the digits on my unit nor my mind. I know, I know… but I didn’t have time to chastise myself for this basic and serious mistake. Before I could panic even further, I heard the sweet sound of sirens and saw the Chinese brigade first to arrive on the scene. I promised myself then and there to list all emergency numbers and never take these for granted again.

What next, pack? But what to pack? What, pray tell, do you prioritize at a time like this? Finally, with my mind almost a blank, I settled for my phone and car keys with the sole thought of just getting everyone out in case the fire reaches us.

As I watched the volunteer firemen pour rain over the fire, I started calling loved ones to give myself something to do. My mobile sister asked to safe keep her work laptop.  There was no time to argue with her on the merits of backing up, so I backtracked and just grabbed it, deciding to save the lecture for later. My almost hysterical nephew asked to save ‘Ponsoy’, his favorite monkey toy, and ’Happy’, another stuffed toy, because “they’re important members of the family too.” I almost cursed but I threw these in the car as well anyway, remembering a time when my Barbie meant the whole world to me too. Our yaya secured her savings and medicine. I went back for my wallet with IDs, passport and other documents.

The fire razed about six houses. It was all the more sad because it was a good neighborhood and we grew up with most of these people.

Fortunately, the fire never did reach us. But the stuff loaded in the car gave us all something to think about what really mattered in our lives.

When we went back to the house, I took stock of what I left behind. I could feel the accusing eyes of my favorite clothes, shoes, gadgets, and books. And oh, did I really forget about my precious jewelry? Our family TV grunted in disappointment. I waited to feel chagrined, but mostly I was just relieved to be reminded of what it all boils down to – that for as long as your loved ones are safe, everything else are replaceable.

I started rearranging things and noted a few essentials – emergency numbers, flashlights, and an exit plan. I was secretly glad to realize that there are actually a lot of things I can live without. But for convenience’s sake, that same night, I started packing an emergency bag with a few basics. You know, just in case. 


--Published SunStar Weekend, June 1, 2013

Oh Baby, Baby

Over the holidays, I decided to check out what’s new in Philippine cinema and lined up for the annual Metro Manila Film Festival. Out of all the eight entries this year, two movies stood out – Thy Womb and One More Try.

Thy Womb, directed by Brillante Mendoza, left me feeling dazed and hollow. I was impressed by the rawness of its cinematic scenes and the standout acting of Nora Aunor as Shaleha -- a Badjao midwife in Tawi-Tawi struggling with the irony of her own infertility.  What I couldn’t reconcile with my reality though is the story of Shaleha trying to find her husband Bangas-An a new wife to fulfill his wish of having a child. She did it with such dedication, too, even at the risk of being cast aside. Whoa, was this pure selflessness, or just plain crazy or stupid? It boggles the mind to consider that in some parts of the world, this is acceptable, even a practical way of life.

Then there’s Star Cinema’s “One More Try”, a story of two couples turning their lives upside down to save a dying child.  Have you ever met a woman like Grace (Angel Locsin) who will sleep again with a man who hurt her, even at the risk of alienating the man who loves her, to save her child? Or have you ever been a wife like Jacqueline (Angelica Panganiban), consenting to lend your husband to another woman (vocally or not) because you feel guilty about not being able to bear him a child?

Both movie plots were quite raw and original – a testament to how far Philippine cinema has gone- and yet, for me, so crazy too they bordered on the ridiculous. But what if these actually happen in our own lives? What choices do we make? These movies make you wonder: Are you less of a woman if you can’t bear a child? Or will you have to give up everything to have a child?

I have a successful friend who’s been married for more than 5 years now and still with no baby. Everywhere we go, despite her loving marriage and other achievements, the inevitable question crops up, “So when are you having a baby?” I can only sympathize. I know it annoys her as much as it annoys me being asked, “When are you getting married?” Apparently women— single or married— just cannot hide from the pressures of society.

On a more personal level, I mused, am I ready to have a baby? Even as a 30-something, I find that is one question I still cannot answer with certainty.

I love babies, though. I love to cuddle them, put them to sleep or make them laugh. I am amazed by their brilliance and their ability to absorb new things and grow up so fast. I consider it a privilege to watch my baby nephew grow up to be an active 9-year-old boy. Up to this day, he still amazes us with his curious words and funny, even brilliant, answers.

But, like what every woman at some point asks herself -- do I want one now? Am I ready to be responsible for a delicate human life? To choose to be there when my work takes me elsewhere? I barely have time for myself now and current loved ones. There are still so many dreams to work through – will I not resent being tied down when that rare opportunity strikes? Can I give my baby the best life he/she deserves now?

It is not uncommon to find 30-something single and childless women in this city and age. Despite the flak from society, there are perks to being one –being able to travel light, to come and go as you please, to take chances without guilt. One time, over an after-movie pizza and beer, I asked a similar friend, “Will you give up your life now, your career and dreams just to have children?” Her answer: “If I have to give it all up, then maybe I don’t want children.” Perhaps, we are too selfish yet.  But as a woman, is it really so wrong to pursue dreams that don’t include children?

Just recently, while on the road, I asked my partner, “Do you want children?”He answered without a doubt, “Yes, always.” He shifted gears and teased, “We can have one now if you like.” I could feel the panic rising in my stomach. Am I ready? I swallowed. “What if I couldn’t give you one?” He was silent as he maneuvered through the city streets. I looked at the long, lonely road ahead. Is this it? Will I have to choose now? Like Shaleha, will I be deemed a single useless figure in society if I choose to be childless? Do I need to give him up? Or like Jacqueline, do I have to lend him to another woman if I don’t bear him children? Before my crazy thoughts could choke me, we reached an intersection. As the light turned red, he pressed on the brakes, gave me a light kiss on the head and looked into my eyes, “Then, we will be enough.”

My world settled. I can’t remember loving him more as in that moment. I guess, for some of us women, it’s not really about having a baby or not. It’s the knowing that, with or without, we are enough. 

--Published SunStar Weekend, January 5, 2013