The Name Game

“What's in a name?” Or so Shakespeare’s Juliet declared to her Romeo, “That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

It’s romantic, yes, and in essence it may be true. But if we’re honest about it, nothing annoys us more than people mixing up or forgetting our names or worse, being called "whatshername" and "whatshisface". In the real world, a name could mean everything. Some business deals and romantic rendezvous have fallen through just because someone failed to say the right name at the right time. Take our F.R.I.E.N.D Ross, for example, who got divorced for saying the name “Rachel” (not the wife) in his own wedding.

Perhaps, we can excuse Juliet, who was willing to forget all for her Romeo. But if you own a business, ran for public office or practice public relations, you’ll find that forgetting names could easily land you in trouble. Besides, unlike Juliet, we don’t have the luxury of hiding behind a feathered mask when we walk into a room full of faces.

Still, everyone struggles with remembering names. In fact, even though I have a fairly short and very common name, I can’t count the number of times I’ve answered to “Coffee for Irene”; “Pizza for Allen” or “Hot tea for Ellen”. Heck, why don’t they just finally give me credit and I’ll gladly answer to “Coffee for Free!”

I can’t really complain though. I myself also fall victim to the embarrassment of not remembering names. Is it Mike or Mark? Janet or Janice? What’s even worse is if someone else is with you and you know you’ll have to introduce the two of them to each other. Sheessh. Excuse me, margaritas, anyone?

The ability to remember people’s names is an incredibly useful skill. It’s more than just good manners, it’s also good business. You honor your customer or your friend by calling him or her by name.

So let’s take out “Hu U?” or “whatshisface” from our vocabulary. Remembering names need not be stressful, it can be fun. It’s all in the game, really. But before we play, there are some rules to remember.

First, you’ve got to believe you can. Stop telling people that you are “horrible at names”, or you will really forget people’s names without even trying. You’re not bad at names-- you just haven’t found a system that works for you yet. Instead, start by making a commitment to make your best effort to remember names of people you meet. Tell yourself (because it’s true) that you can remember names if you want to and if you work at it.

Second, pay attention. Be interested. Many of us don't catch the other person's name because we’re too busy minding ourselves. Look for details. What’s her most striking asset? By forming an impression, we are more likely to remember them.

Once you’ve understood these rules, then you’re set to go. Ready? Let’s play!

The Parrot Game
Repeat, repeat, repeat. Once introduced, use the name immediately. Say “How do you do, Ann?” or “Ann, so nice to meet you.” Then comment on the name, “Do you spell ‘Ann’ with an ‘e’ or without?” Again, use the name in conversation, “Where’d you get those nice stilettos, Ann?” For fun, you can try repeating the name in your head while exaggerating the sound, “Ahh—ahahaha—ahnn!” The funkier it is the better for remembering, isn’t it?

Storytelling
At first, my friend’s name “Orleyne” did not make sense to me and for months, I could not even spell it right. Until one day, she told me the story about how her family had ties in Ormoc, Leyte and Negros, hence her name “Or-Ley-Ne” and her sisters’ names “Negley” and “Isabele”. How cool is that? Now, I’ve only to remember these places to get their names right.

Pictionary
Any teacher would tell you that visualization is a powerful tool. We remember names better if we have a picture to go with it. So why not imagine Doug standing next to a hole he dug, or Philip smoking Philip Morris, or Marigold and Dahlia standing in your mother’s garden? You can also visualize Joseph’s name being written across his forehead with your favorite magic marker. Better yet, call on the tiny cheerleaders in your head and let them spell Keanu Reeves’ name with an “O-M-G!”

Guess Who?
Find the trigger. Try to associate the name with a famous person or the things people tell you about themselves. You may have a friend named Arnold who is the tiny version of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Audrey with the Audrey Hepburn sunglasses, Margarita who works in a bar, or Fish who likes to swim – you get the idea. But here’s a challenge- what if you have three friends named “Mike” or you go to China and meet Wang 1,2 and 3? Well, with their permission, you can assign them nicknames like Mikey (because he likes to say “ey”), Michael (because he looks like an angel) or just Mike (because he’s always the first to test the mic). What is needed though is consent, for what may be funny to you may be insulting to the person in question. As for Wang, you can try to differentiate “Wang- the programmer”; “Wang – the noodle guy” and “Wang- the one not from China”. Whatever it is, just don’t call them wang-wang.

Word Play
Let the words do the work for you. Rhyming or mnemonic devices are fun. Check this out:

Tell Anabelle, as pretty as Belle
Who’s friends with Ever, in love forever
Run the extra mile with Allen Miles
Forget Payne, a pain in the neck.
Nice to meet you, Dale in sales
Paul plays ball
And I—you can call me Ai.

Name That Tune
Remember the song Name Game? “Okay, let’s do Shirley! Shirley, Shirley bo Birley Bonana fanna fo Firley Fee fy mo Mirley, Shirley!” Whew. It’s a mouthful, isn’t it and it can go on forever. Just as other songs have the power to immortalize names such as The Beatle’s “Michelle, ma belle”; Santana’s “Maria, Maria”; Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline”; The Calling’s “Adrienne”; and Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean”. And isn’t it that we personally know at least one person with any of these names? So rock on, sing that tune if it helps to remember.


Author Dale Carnegie wrote, "A person's name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language”. In fact, we are more likely to react to the sound of our name than, say, the word “apple”. Playing the name game may take time and energy. But if we play it right, it will win us good will, respect and admiration. Like most children’s games, it’s a beautiful beginning to a great relationship.

-- SunStar Weekend, 15 January 2011